


Joyride

by Peachcent



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Sburb/Sgrub Sessions, Dave's Crumbling Mental Health, Humanstuck, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Past Child Abuse, Roadtrip Fic!!, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:02:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27166976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Peachcent/pseuds/Peachcent
Summary: Dave stops answering or reading John's messages out of nowhere, and that's it. John keeps going forward, like he always does. Dave doesn't.Im rlly bad at writing summaries but you've probably read this story arch before but it's my first fic so,, uh also I've never seen one of these that was finished so here i am
Relationships: John Egbert & Jade Harley, John Egbert & Karkat Vantas, John Egbert & Roxy Lalonde, John Egbert/Dave Strider, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Kudos: 8





	Joyride

Dave couldn’t tell if this was really the best idea. It was so hard to think when the apartment was never truly quiet. Maybe it was like white noise to Bro, but to Dave, the combination of unfinished, looping beats mixing with muppet soundtracks just killed any shred of common sense Dave has ever had. Usually John’s message pings would save his ability to focus, but that was what he was currently thinking over. Dave had deleted Pesterchum. Because Dave was such fucking dead weight to all of them, but especially John. He constantly interrupts John's important life things to whine and beg for attention. Not even to talk about anything important, usually to rag on the dork for his taste in movies- the things that make him happy, god dammit. Dave’s like that. He hates seeing himself being genuinely happy, and actually expressing that, which would be okay if it didn’t spill over into being disgusted when his friends did that too. 

Dave cant do anything. He doesn’t have anyone to text or call, and he can’t stand drawing or mixing a beat with no one to send it to. So he just sits there, ripping up the skin around his fingers while Kermit the fucking frog sings his heart out in the other room. He wants to talk to John. So fucking bad, and all he’d need to do is redownload PesterChum. But Dave could never do that, even if he was the only one who knew had failed. Because that would be admitting that Dave is so selfish that he would put his own happiness over John’s ability to live freely and not be chained by Dave and his- issues. Dave can’t pull his head out of his own ass to help himself for even a minute, and he knows that if he doesn’t get control of himself now, he’ll end up dragging John away from everything he could- no will- be.

Dave doesn’t forget John though, even if he desperately tries every couple months. All three of his old friends constantly find their way into his thoughts to the point where most of Dave’s dreams feature at least one of them, usually John. Dave sees his dreams with John like little rain falls during a drought. He could’ve passed out on the roof, stabs of sharp pain radiating through his body, and because he dreamt about he and John riding Dave’s motorcycle through the city while John pressed his face against his neck, so Dave could feel his smile, and when Dave woke, he’d get that little energy boost needed to patch himself up. Sometimes Dave thinks about how that could’ve been his life. Then he pulls himself up and focuses on something before his brain can ‘um actually’ him. Today it’s his closet fridge, which has no materials for a passable meal, and he’s also running low on apple juice. Yeah it’s a childish ass drink, and maybe its not all too cool of him, but he could have a lot less healthy drinking habits.

Dave yanks on his standard T-shirt and black jeans, and grabs his backpack, motorcycle keys, and his riding jacket. It’s this sick ass red leather jacket with a vintage record shop’s logo on the sleeve, along with some cheesy 80’s movie logos, most notably Ghostbusters. Dave would be lying if John’s old favorites hadn’t become comforts to him, Ghost Dad, Ghostbusters, and yeah, fucking Con-Air were his preferred picks. He slings the jacket over his shoulders as he hops down the million flights of stairs. It’s his most prized possession, behind his shades and his bike. He got his baby through his job -some coworker was moving blah blah- when he’d gotten her she’d been this gross piss color and her guts were severely fucked. Like the titanic and twin tower’s newborn baby took one look at her insides and cringed. But now? After a paint job and a new motor she was a hell of a looker. 

Dave despises shopping. He’s just going to eat all his stuff and be back next week, so what’s the point. That and people at Walmart occasionally try to talk to him. It’s not that Dave can’t hold a conversation, he’s decent at small talk, but he- People always end up reminding Dave of either John, Jade, Dirk or Rose. His chest always gets tight, and his hands get clammy and he can’t think of anything to say, so it gets hella awkward before Dave ducks out of the conversation. He’s grown a serious distaste for personal interaction. He hasn’t had a serious talk beyond customer and coworker interactions since- fuck, since Dirk moved out years ago. 

But Dave still has to go through the motions to feed himself. He goes early to avoid as many people as possible- there are only busy early shift commuters at this time. He throws on his headphones and swings through familiar isles, grabbing english muffins, butter, pre-boiled eggs and a way to sweet coffee creamer. He’s in the home stretch- apple juice, then self checkout and finally getting out of this store. Dave gets to the juice aisle and grabs his standard brand, and fuck- does he have enough money for this? Logically he knows he does, he got paid 3 days ago, but if he starts to check out and his card declines- hell no. The thought alone has him whipping out his banking app. 

Suddenly there’s this- guy in front of him, squeezing himself between the shelves and Dave. Dave tries to give him his room, but the guy’s twisting his arm around Dave to keep him there. He finally looks up at the guy and holy shit. It feels like his heart is being hung by his stomach; this dude looks  _ so  _ much like John. He  _ still _ had a slight overbite, and his hair was as messy as ever. Shit- even the awkward crinkle of his eyes. It’s almost- not its definitely creeping Dave out. 

Dave realizes that the guy has just stopped talking to him, and is now expectantly smirking. He even sounds John-like. For a second it really felt like John had come back for him- traveled hundreds of miles for his online middle school friend he hadn’t talked to for 5 years. Yeah okay Dave. But God, does it feel like John is holding him, Dave desperately wants to give into the part of his mind telling him  _ Yes! John  _ did _ come back for you!! _ But he’s in a fucking Walmart at 6 AM, and he’s not about to creep out a stranger that in hindsight probably will  _ barely _ resemble John. 

He doesn’t actually know how to get out of this situation, and his hands are super fucking sweaty. Dave’s started chewing on his lip, and frantically glancing between Not-John’s eyes. He seriously can't take this, it feels like his stomach is boiling. He chokes out a loud “Yeah, sorry.” and ducks under John's arm, until he has to push it away- cuz its on his waist not his shoulder, idiot. Dave sets down his basket on the way out and frantically bee-lines it for the exit, there’s no way it doesn’t look like Dave’s stealing. Fuck that was awful, there’s no way he didn’t come off like a total nuthead to the stranger that was probably just asking him a question and happened to have black hair. 

**Author's Note:**

> HI! you could probably tell this is my first fic. Hense the generic plot line, um yeah, hopefully i can stir it up into something more interesting but i think ill probably be focusing on how i write the characters rather than the story. criticism would be greatly appreciated. I think based on how im writing the 2nd chapter ill eventually come on in and fix this one up cuz its just okay ;(


End file.
